Hearing turns into sexual consent lecture for Padilla

[Trigger warning: Sensitive topic]

Metro Manila, Philippines – A Senate hearing on sexual harassment in the entertainment industry took a different turn when committee chairperson Senator Robin Padilla inquired about rape within marriage.

Padilla, an actor-turned-lawmaker, appeared surprised by the statement of lawyer and women’s rights advocate Lorna Kapunan that compelling one’s wife to have sex is considered marital rape.

“Ah talaga po?” Padilla said.

“So yung dati na sinasabi na obligasyon ng asawa ng babae o lalaki kapag humiling ang asawa, lalaki o babae, dapat pagbigyan. Hindi na po iyan?” he added.

[Translation: Is that so? So, what was previously said about it being an obligation for a wife or husband to comply when their spouse requests sex—whether the spouse is male or female—no longer applies?]

Kapunan answered: “Hindi po, kapag sinabing no, no means no (No, when someone says no, no means no).”

Padilla further asked what husbands can do when their wives are not in the mood for sex.

“Sasang-ayon naman sa akin ang mga taumbayan ‘pag sinabi kong may iba talagang urge ang mga lalaki… Papaano ‘yun, nandiyan ang asawa mo to serve you, ayaw niya. Ano ang pwede kong – para hindi ako mareklamo ng asawa ko… ano ang pwede kong sabihin sa kanya?” Padilla asked.

[Translation: People would agree with me if I say that men really have different urges... What about this, if your spouse is there to serve you and she doesn’t want to, what can I—so that I don’t get in trouble with my wife—what can I say to her?]

“Kailangan ng counseling or magdasal na lang kayo (You need counseling or just pray),” Kapunan responded, to which Padilla laughed.

The lawyer then provided a crucial lesson on the importance of mutual respect in relationships.

“If your spouse refuses, whether valid or hindi, respetuhin natin yung desisyon ng wife or ng husband in that case (whether valid or not, let us respect the decision of the wife or husband in that case),” Kapunan said.

She also corrected Padilla’s earlier statement.

“Yung statement ng chair, with all due respect, hindi po obligasyon ng isang wife, sabi mo, is to serve the husband,” Kapunan said.

[Translation: The chairperson's statement, with all due respect, is that it is not the obligation of a wife, as you said, to serve the husband.]

Padilla said it was the “normal” mindset instilled in people.

“Idagdag ko na lang dahil maraming lalaking nakikinig sa atin… We amended the Family Code to remove the obligation of obedience… mutual respect na ngayon,” Kapunan said.

[Translation: I'll add this, since many men are listening to us... We amended the Family Code to remove the obligation of obedience. It’s now about mutual respect.]

Padilla, chairman of the Senate committee on public information and mass media, has been investigating complaints of sexual abuse and harassment in the entertainment industry.

In Thursday’s hearing, Padilla emphasized that sexual harassment occurs not only in the media industry but in other workplaces as well.

He said legislation should address power dynamics—specifically, the misuse of influence by those in higher positions to exploit employees.

Earlier, he filed a bill to strengthen the anti-rape law, proposing severe penalties including life imprisonment and even the death penalty, for perpetrators regardless of the victim's gender.